How to Discover What Really Matters to You
You’ve learned that values are the qualities that guide your life — the kind of person you want to be and the direction you want to move in. But how do you actually figure out what your values are?
It’s not always obvious. Sometimes we think we know (“I value success!”), but when we look closer, it’s more about what others expect than what feels meaningful to us. This post will help you start uncovering your real values — the ones that make you feel most like yourself.
Why Finding Your Values Matters
Values are like your internal compass. They don’t tell you what to think or feel — they guide what you do. When you know your values, you can make choices that feel right even when life gets messy.
Think of it like this:
- Without values, you drift wherever the wind blows.
- With values, you steer your own ship.
Step 1: Think in Categories
It can help to start by exploring areas of life where values show up. Here are some common categories:
Category Examples of Values -
- Relationships - Kindness, honesty, loyalty, being supportive
- Personal Growth - Learning, curiosity, courage, self‑acceptance
- Health & Wellbeing - Balance, self‑care, perseverance
- Fun & Creativity - Adventure, imagination, humour, expression
- Community & Contribution - Fairness, helping others, respect, justice
- Spirituality & Meaning - Gratitude, compassion, connection, peace
You don’t have to pick one from each — just notice which categories feel alive for you.
Step 2: Rate What Matters
Here’s a simple way to start identifying your values:
- List 10 things that matter to you — activities, people, causes, or qualities.
- Rate each one from 1–10 for how meaningful it feels (not how much time you spend on it).
- Notice patterns. Which ones score highest? What do they have in common?
We'll leave it there for now but spend some time reflecting on the values you have chosen and how they make you think and what they make you feel. In the next post we will start thinking about what to do with them now you have them.